It took 6 days and 10 matches to get a really exciting game in this edition of IPL. It was the mother of all nail biters and the loss KKR suffered made it all the sweeter (Sharukh Khan has single-handedly made KKR into the most hated team in IPL, no wonder he is the Badshah; more Aurangzeb here). I was all the time sitting in my cubicle, cricinfo livescorecard open; refreshing it every second (it auto refreshes but people outside India will definitely know what I am talking about). When ‘Dada’ hit one of his 4’s it was too much to take and I let out a ‘Shahbash’ loud enough to make people across the hall came over and see what was happening.
They wanted to know why I was so excited and the next thing I know I am streaming the game on my laptop with 4-5 people crowded around me. Trying to catch the game and simultaneously tell them what was happening. So from the initial, ‘you got only two bases in this game?’ to ‘how many outs in an innings?’; I answered their questions patiently though a bit irritated as the game was turning out to be a screamer. Rajasthan at one stage were home and dry only to be pulled back into deep water by ‘Dada’. Then Kolkata seemed safe but for the new kid Kamran Khan who got 'Dada' out and tied the match. By this time cricket had atleast 3 more fans and they were standing behind me. All of a sudden one of the guys asked, ‘Dood which is your team of the two’, I casually answer ‘neither’. ‘HOLY CRAP, you are excited about two teams which you don’t even support, don’t give me this SHIT!’ one guy exclaimed. Once he said it, even I was surprised but in my defense I am a true cricket fan :-) and anyway I enjoy seeing KKR loose.
So they were going to have some ‘Super Over’ to decide the winner, about which I had no idea. Thankfully Jamie Alter (if you are a true cricinfo fan, you would know who it is) gave the rules. Yusaf Pathan made my day by hitting Mendis all over the park. Oh I forgot! In the meantime I called Dhake to discuss what would happen. ‘Pathan is a brute’ was the conclusion of that discussion. Then I and Emani had a chat about the match, he is a fellow fanatic, and we relived the entire match and it was time to get back to work.
By the way the other match between Chennai and Delhi went down to the wire too. Flintoff was the man of the match for me, though he won it for the opposition. He went for 50+ runs in his 4 overs and got out at a crucial stage where he could have just pushed for singles and won the game. Does not speak very high of the costliest player in IPL. Today IPL also saw the first century of this season and what an innings by Abe Devillers. He is the most prolific batsman in world cricket only behind Chandrapaul. Watch out for Abe!
Bangalore plays Punjab, a weak team this season. Apart from the changes I wrote about in my previous blog, Pieterson would do well if he could win the toss and bat. All the teams which have batted first have ended up winning (unless the match is decided by D/W method). Best of luck BRC.
Lastly, have you guys seen the blogs of ‘fakeiplplayer’? He is an awesome writer and really entertaining. Though of late he has become predictable and boring, you can read the initial blogs.
Two matches two batting failures and 1-1 win-loss record rounds off the opening weekend for BRC. The win made possible by an extraordinary knock by Dravid and some very good bowling. I would say the best bowler against Rajasthan was Praveen Kumar, though he ended with just 3 wickets.
Let me just write a few lines about Dravid. He showed the world how to bat in such a situation. Every team irrespective of the format needs a Dravid in the side. As Sachin showed earlier, we need some one scoring at around a run a ball and batting through. Dravid scored at a strike rate of 140 and finally his score was the difference between the two sides. Bowling has been generally good, except for the first ten overs of the second match, we have had good 30 overs with ball. Praveen Kumar has been doing really well and its heartening to see Kumble back among wickets. As Pieterson said, class cant be bought. The weak link in the team has been Steyn. His pace is being used by the batsmen and he is being hit to all parts of the ground. He is starting where he finished last season and that isnt good for BRC.
Batting has been pathetic and generally really bad. Pieterson has got the team composition wrong and the batting order wrong which is making the matters worse. The weakest link here is Ross Taylor at no. 3. I believe this place belongs to Pieterson. The other worrying factor is lack of experience at no. 6,7 and 8. The likes of Boucher will be of great help. Ross Taylor doesnt deserve a place in the eleven.
Fielding has been below par, the missed catches in the second match cost us a lot. Definitely a thing we can improve.
So here is my team for the next match: 1.Robbin Uthappa 2.Jessy Ryder 3.KP 4.Dravid 5.Kallis 6.Boucher 7.Gaurav Dhiman 8.Balchander Akhil 9.Praveen Kumar 10.Vinay Kumar 11.Kumble
I open with Uthappa and Ryder. Its a potentially explosive team, which can get us great starts. Utahppa has looked lackluster but we have no other choice. No. 3 belong to Pieterson. A player like him has to stamp his authority early on in the match. Then I have Dravid, who is scoring fluently and will carry the innings till the end. Depending on the situation I will have Kallis or Boucher come in next. If we are in commanding position, it makes sense to have Boucher come ahead and throw his bat around. I think it is criminal not to play Boucher in the team as we are playing in SA and we need his experience to play in with the lower order batsmen. At No. 7 I have a surprise and that is Dhaman, we all saw what he can do in the U-19 world cup, he is a explosive batsman and a useful medium-pacer. Kholi has been given too many chances and needs to be kept out of the side for his own good. Then I have Akhil, Akhil gets the nod ahead of Kholi because of the bowling option. Moreover he is a useful or useless as Kholi in the batting department. He is followed by the bowlers, Praveen, Vinay and Kumble who are no mugs with the bat either.
The bowling is really strong, we have Kumble, Praveen and Vinay in a resonably good form and the remaining overs needs to be shared between, Kallis, Ryder, Dhaman and Akhil. I would have Boucher behind the stumps which is quite obvious.
Finally I feel, Boucher cant be ignored any longer and Taylor needs to pack his bags. Lets see what happens tomorrow. Best of luck BRC.
PS: Did you guys watch Shane Warne spin a mile in the first match. What a player- a true genius.
Ross Taylor might score a century in the next match, but I would still drop him.
Rahul Dravid on strike for Bangalore and Ishant Sharma with a shining new white ball; opening the attack for Kolkata. There is a buzz around the ground, the spectators are anxious and here are two youngsters in the crowd playing ‘inky pinky ponky’. Why are you boys doing that? “We don’t know whom to support” comes the answer. Of course, we are in Wanderers, South Africa not in Chinnaswamy or Eden Gardens. This is IPL2, it’s about Shahrukh, Preity, Shilpa; it’s about Buchanan and his idiocracy and finally it is about Lalit Modi and his money spinning affair. Sorry officially it’s a cricket tournament.
Just some things happening in IPL
1.“Even when he is 106, Ganguly will be the captain of KKR”- Shahrukh Khan (owner), 2008
“Mccullam replaces Ganguly as captain of KKR in IPL2” – Headlines, 2009
2.“T20 isnt Gavaskar’s cup of tea, if he wants, let him buy a team and run it the way he wants” –Shahrukh Khan
“ If Gavaskar ‘Saab’ asks me to stand on my head and run the team, I will do it” – Shahrukh Khan a week later.
3.“This year I am going to sleep with all of them”- Shahrukh Khan on how to bring the best out of his players.
4.“ I hope you can spin more”- Shilpa Shetty about RR ‘fast bowler’ Shiddhart Trivedi
And many more such…….
Open ibnlive.com or ndtv.com, you can see Shahrukh, Preity and Shilpa all over the page, either releasing their team’s T-Shirt or dancing in the inaugurals. Then we have the hero of IPL Mr. Modi posing for photographs with Shilpa and Preity on either side. I even read somewhere; next we are going to see him in a Bollywood movie too. This doesn’t complete the picture; we also have two dummies posing. One is the boy friend of Shilpa , Raj Kundra and the other the companion of Prieity, Nes Wadia. What a pretty family picture they make.
So what happened to all the discussions of who is in which team, what will be the strategies’, how are they going to fit in only 4 foreign players (though this year it should be corrected to 4 non-Indian players, even Indian are foreigners in SA) and the hoards of cricketing question we discuss and debate?
I understand why they decided to move the venue, elections is much bigger and going by what we have seen in the first phase (18 people including 5 polling officers killed by Maoist), Chidambaram was right; we do not have enough security personnel to provide security. But, how can you ignore cricket in a cricket tournament.Why has it become a platform for Shahrukh Khan to make a fool of himself? IPL was supposed to rival EPL; it was supposed to be EPL of cricket. I have never heard any team owner speak so much in EPL, in the last 20 years of its existence.
Please stop this tomfoolery and get down to cricketing. I want more of, “I feel BRC made a mistake by making Pieterson the captain, because he is very temperamental and hasn’t proved his worth as a captain”- Geff Boycott before the match, “Sachin Tendulkar dancing down the wicket and has lofted the ball in the air and it goes for a six, what a player what a man”- Tony Grieg during the match and a good panel discussion involving Ravi Shastri, Harsha Bhogle and Ian Chapple discussing why KKR lost the match, at the end.
Disclaimer: Many people have asked me whether this is a real interview. Sorry to disappoint you, its fictitious and a segment of my imagination. It's my sarcastic take on what might happen in such an interview.
My friend recently met up with Pramod Muthalik, for an interview. She is a journalist for a national daily and Mr. Muthalik was very candid in his views. Without much horsing around, let’s get down to the details of the interview.
Women Journalist (WJ): It is no pleasure of mine that I have to talk to you. But anyway welcome to the interview.
Pramod Muthalik (PM):How can a woman have pleasure without a man’s permission anyway? I am very happy to be here. I haven’t been in NEWS for quite sometime.
WJ: So on a lighter note, what did you do with ‘pink chaddies’?
PM: It didn’t fit me well, so I gave it to my brother’s son. The color is fading, cheap quality.
WJ: It was for you so… on hindsight do you think what you did was correct?
PM: No, I don’t think so. I had instructed my people not to hit any boys in the party. But, my people got carried away and hit some boys too. You see those boys in the party had a right to be there, if we had left them alone, this wouldn’t have been an issue. So definitely it wasn’t right. ‘Sene – Ram Sene’
WJ: Is it right to hit girls? Isn’t it against our culture?
PM: Even ‘Vedas’ says, respect and worship woman in a saree, go check it if you want to. Women wearing anything other then a saree are demons in disguise. This is in ‘Upanisheds’, check it if you want to.
WJ: So you believe that we should go back in time, revive customs like ‘Sati’?
PM: Definitely, Sati is a wonderful practice. Some person called Raja Ram Mohan Roy fought against it; he just wanted to be in social science text books for years to come. Our customs have a meaning, scientific in nature. You see first of all, what will a widow do? She is a burden on the society. You complain about population explosion, this is how we used to control it. You tell me, what will a woman do without a man? Its better she dies. But, there is an exception, if she is fit enough, she can do house work and be a mid-wife and things like that, then we will shave her head and keep her. We are very considerate.
WJ: How wonderful.Why don’t you become the prime-minister of the country?
PM: I will, only if they change the name of the country to ‘Bharat’ or ‘Ram Rajya’. ‘Sene – Ram Sene.’
WJ: There is a section of people who say, you are doing this only because you or your boys couldn’t get good looking girls/girlfriends. Just out of jealousy you are attacking them.
PM: That isn’t true. Even if it is true, what is wrong with it? See India is a socialist country. The resources of the country should be distributed equally. Good looking girls are one such resource. Before, these girls used to walk or go in buses, where our boys could meet them; nowadays they have vehicles and go to pubs, where will my boys meet them?This isn’t fair. If we can’t have them they can’t have them too.
WJ: So you have alleged that these girls are being led astray by boys from other religions? Are these girls easily gullible? Why do you think they are doing this?
PM: No no, women by themselves have no brains. They always follow what men say. So when a boy from other religion comes and talks; they just follow him, so we should always have women tied in the house. See if you let your cattle free in the forest, won’t the wolf come and eat it. So the first step is, securing out cattle, then we will hunt the wolf. ‘Sene-Ram Sene’.
WJ: So you feel women by themselves shouldn’t have a choice? You don’t respect their choice?
PM: They do, definitely. I respect women and I worship women. I respect their choice. In my house the women never asks whether they should make rice or ‘chappati’ for dinner, it’s entirely their choice. I really respect women.
WJ: How very encouraging. Do you think women should be given equal share in property?
PM: They should be given equal share. Infact in our culture they are always given equal share. Just that we give it to our sons-in-law. Women can never handle money, so we give it to the son-in-law, this people call 'dowry.' The media simple make an issue out of it and campaigns against it. Actually it’s a Pakistani propaganda to tarnish Indian culture. Now you know 'dowry' is a good thing. Look daughter, not everything old is bad.
WJ: But, there have been instances where people have burnt their daughters-in-law for 'dowry'?
PM: Once again, media propaganda, Pakistani conspiracy. You see when a man is in doubt about his wife’s fidelity, what must he do? Remember Ramayana, when Lord Rama wanted to test Sita ‘Mata’, what did he do? He set her on fire. Now did the fire harm her? No. So, even now to test your wife’s fidelity you have to set ther on fire. You can’t go to court and police station for this. It’s a matter of shame. Now by the number of deaths; you have an estimate how many women have gone astray? This is exactly what we are fighting.‘Sene – Ram Sene’
WJ: I have never been more disgusted in my life. I am a woman journalist. What do you have to say to that?
PM: That’s what I was thinking, whether to slap you before or after the interview. I decided it will be a good parting gift.
Last day of exams! Not any ordinary exam, this was the life deciding II PUC (Pre University College) or for people not from Karnataka the 12th standard. This exam decides if you become an engineer, doctor or fall down and disgrace yourself by doing basic sciences. Did anyone say, isn’t it the choice of the student? Well where were you for the last 20 years? Everyone knows that your marks in PUC decide what you become in life, like the students choice ever mattered.
So as it happened, the last exam was English, and everyone had English (it was compulsory), so here we are Mallikarjun (Malla), Tejas (Mickey), Jeevan (Bhogle), Krishna (Bandu), Ananya (Pilli), Yashashwi (Pashu) and me going to Mickey’s place after the exams. We had huge plans, we were going to play cricket first, then go eat ice cream and then probably go watch a movie. No one wanted to ask the questions on everyone’s mind, how did the exams go? How much marks we will get? Where will we end up? What will happen? With these questions weighing upon us, we went to Mickey’s place.
So on the way (we are walking), you ask why we walk? The vehicle stand guy charges a rupee per day to park the vehicle. A rupee is a huge amount; I mean it is 30 bucks a month, 365 rupees a year. So Mickey’s place is like a kilometer from college and it was our parking place. At anytime there would be at least 10-15 vehicles parked in their house. Coming back to the story, as we walked we talked this and that. We talked about girls, argued who was the most beautiful girl in college, talked about buying new vehicles for Degree College, the latest bikes and everything boys usually talk about. But this day the zest was missing. As the exams were over it was now time to contemplate and review how you had fared for the last one month.
At this junction, I got an idea (my ideas generally cause trouble almost always) to cheer up the mood, so that we could enjoy the moment. When we reached home, I said ‘we will do one thing, we shall throw the ball really high and who ever catches it first will get the highest marks in the exam. Pilli said, ‘I don’t catch and play cricket well, so the odds are against me, so I don’t agree’. Mickey said ‘whatever I don’t care, but I don’t mind trying it.’ The rest of the guys were OK with it and there was a lot of arguing about the rules of the competition. But, whatever said and done Pilli didn’t agree to the rules, he still maintained that he was at a disadvantage. So I gave him a big disclosure about fate and here are some excerpts from it, Me: ‘this is pure fate, if fate is on your side you will be the guy to catch it. It’s the ultimate test.’ Malla: ‘I completely agree, see what will happen will happen, this is just an indication of what is going to come. Mickey gave his expert comment, ‘anyway, we can always play best of three catches and see what happens, then it will be real test’ I gave the concluding remark that if Pilli doesn’t agree then it means he is chickening out, no guts and he is a chicken heart. Totally irrelevant, but when you want a guy to do something, just hurt his ego and he will be ready. Finally, Pashu added, ‘we will let Pilli, throw the ball high and let him decide where he wants to throw, that way it will be fairer. Which everyone agreed and for once even Pilli was game for it.
So the scene was set, we were standing on the footpath, it was a pretty big footpath and we worked out where each one should stand and last minute rules that hitting isn’t allowed but pushing is allowed and things like that. With baited breadth we anticipated his throw, where he would throw? What height it will go to? How much time I will have to run there? By now it wasn’t just marks at stake but a reputation too. This will go down in the annuls of history. So Pilli had his back to the road and then, he put in his effort and threw the ball up, there was a sudden rush, everyone tried to follow the ball and tried to run towards it. But, fate had meant otherwise, the very fate I had mentioned sometime back made its decision, the ball went not only up, but due to the lack of physical abilities on Pilli's part, it travelled towards the road and on the road a open top lorry was travelling and the ball went and fell into the lorry and before anyone could realize the lorry was at the end of the road. Fate had made its choice.
We all looked at each other and kept staring at Pilli, this fellow had single handedly jinxed out results. He might have done it on purpose as he had no chance of catching it, but knowing his abilities at cricket everyone doubted that. Then suddenly all of us started laughing and that broke the ice. We laughed till our tummy started to ache and there were tears in the eyes. All of a sudden the exam was a distant thing and all that mattered was the long holidays ahead.
By the way the laughter didn’t last long; the results came a month later.
College days are fun filled. When you mention fun, in college, it usually means you are making fun of someone or you at the receiving end. If you were in college with me, you would remember me taking a crack at someone but here is an incident where I was at the receiving end.
Before that let me introduce S Rathnakara (SR). He was my lecturer at my engineering college.People who know him already have a smile on their face. He was very distinctive, pretty tall and ungainly. When he walked you got the feeling that his arms and legs were attached to his body by a single screw and that it would let go anytime. His hair was always pointing to nowhere and he eternally had a question mark on his face. The closest anyone can be is Kashinath, the ‘manmatha’ of Kannada cinema. Stretch Kashinath a bit and you would have SR. What added character to his personality was his oratory skill, or the lack of it. He spoke an intangible language, made possible by a combination of speed and pronunciation. Forget, understanding the engineering he taught us, understanding and deciphering his speech took us a year. Kapakitor (capacitor) was considered a new device patented by SR. Such was his skills.
We had lab sessions and what was done in the lab had to be written and maintained in a lab journal. We used to get the journal sheets and after entering the results we filed it and had to submit it at the start of each lab session. This particular time we had to attach a semi-log graph sheet too.It’s a graph with logarithmic division on one axis and normal divisions on the other.As was the norm, I delayed doing it till the last moment and then went to lab only to realize that, I hadn’t attached the graph. So the race against time started. First step, ask around for a spare graph sheet, didn’t work, no one had one. Step two: consider running to the stationary shop, not really an option, discard it. At this crucial moment entered amazingly talented Nagaprasad aka Nagi. He was my classmate, close friend and the go to guy in these situations. Nagi out of nowhere produced two graph sheets; naturally I was happy and asked him where he got it from. So here is a secret, in the analog lab, in the last row shelf there were these sheets, they were meant to be used in the semester exams only but someone had kept it there and Nagi was helping himself. So he let me in on this project to save 25 paisa a week. The problem is these graphs had the university seal, so Nagi said, “When you are submitting, paste something on the seal or erase it”, which I conveniently forgot.
I submitted the journal and started conducting the new experiment. SR came and blabbered something and sat down to correct the journals. Then after a while he called my name out and I went to his desk and the showdown began.
SR: ‘What is this?’ pointing to the journal with the graph on top.
Me: ‘My journal, Sir’, I knew what he meant, but when you can drag the inevitable….
SR: ‘I can see that. But what is this?’ tapping on the graph.
Me: ‘Semi-Log graph, Sir. Why is there anything wrong in it?’
SR: ‘Where did you get the sheet from?’
Now I had a choice. Either tell the truth and face the consequence or pull Nagi into it. This day Nagi wasn’t that lucky.
Me: ‘Nagaprasad gave it to me sir’
SR: ‘You go, send him here’.
So I went and told Nagi, ‘SR is calling you, that B*****d saw the graph, I haven’t told him anything.’ Nagi was furious, ‘did you have to pull me into this, F*** you.’ saying this he went to meet SR.
SR: ‘Nagaprasad, what is this?’ pointing to the journal.
Nagi: ‘Sir, that not my journal, its Chaitanya’s’, saying this he turned around and started to leave.
SR: ‘I know whose journal it is. But what is this?’He was frustrated and circled the university seal on it with his pen.
Nagi cool as ever said, ‘I told you, it isn’t my journal, how should I know?’
SR: ‘You go, send Chaitanya again’.
So I went again.
SR: ‘He says he doesn’t know anything about it’.
Me: ‘Then I also don’t know’.
Now SR was totally frustrated, he finally said after a pause, ‘Go bring Nagaprasad’.
To complicate matters, another lecturer Rajeswari (PR), (it was rumored that she and SR were romantically involved) came into the scene. She was not concerned with lab, but still made an entrance.
SR: ‘He says he doesn’t know, you say you don’t know, then who knows?’ pointing to me.
Me: ‘Sir, as far as I remember Nagi gave it to me, but I am not sure’.
Nagi: ‘I don’t know anything about it, check my journal, do I have the seal?’
PR: ‘Sir, they are all like this. They are always like this’.
SR: ‘So I have nothing against Nagaprasad, but you Chaitanya, you have to tell me where you got this, you guys decide’.
Now I was in a fix, we couldn’t keep going in circles. This was the time for the master plan. And what a plan I had.
Me: ‘Sir, now I remember. I got up today morning and remembered that I had to draw a graph, so I opened my cupboard and got this graph. I think it’s the shopkeeper’s mistake’.
I couldn’t believe I had said the lamest of excuses. I could have said anything, but got up in the morning and it was in my cupboard was suicide.
What next happened knocked the wind out of me. SR said, ‘I have worked here for the last 7 years but surprisingly nothing has ever travelled from here to my home, you are a student and been here for a year or so and already things have started appearing at your place’. I was embarrassed and defeated, but I was determined to give a fitting reply and I said, ‘Sir, the graph sheet costs 25 paisa, and if you think the university lost that, I can pay.’, saying this I took out a rupee coin and kept it on the table. Recently, I was telling this to my close friend and I said, ‘what an arrogant B*****d I was back then', she replied in an instant, ‘you still are’.
PR said, ‘Sir, they are all like this. They are always like this’. Nagi stared at me, SR was scratching his head and I was prepared for the worst. Finally SR spoke, ‘see this isn’t about the money, if tomorrow you get this sheet to the exam and submit it, I have to take it. It isn’t supposed to go out of the exam hall, so I was worried how it went out. That’s why I asked’.
Nagi: ‘Sir, we can write anything and bring? You will have to accept it?’ Thankfully everyone ignored that.
Finally I said, ‘ok sir, next time I will check for the seal. Let it go this time.’
SR: ‘ok, be more careful.’
PR: ‘leave it, they are like this, they are all the same’.
Me: ‘Thank you, sir’
Nagi: ‘Thank you, sir’
SR: ‘So take this and attach a new graph and get it’, handing me the journal
Me: ‘Do I have to. I will just try to erase the seal or stick a piece of paper over it’.
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