How 'not' to handle a situation.

College days are fun filled. When you mention fun, in college, it usually means you are making fun of someone or you at the receiving end. If you were in college with me, you would remember me taking a crack at someone but here is an incident where I was at the receiving end.

Before that let me introduce S Rathnakara (SR). He was my lecturer at my engineering college. People who know him already have a smile on their face. He was very distinctive, pretty tall and ungainly. When he walked you got the feeling that his arms and legs were attached to his body by a single screw and that it would let go anytime. His hair was always pointing to nowhere and he eternally had a question mark on his face. The closest anyone can be is Kashinath, the ‘manmatha’ of Kannada cinema. Stretch Kashinath a bit and you would have SR. What added character to his personality was his oratory skill, or the lack of it. He spoke an intangible language, made possible by a combination of speed and pronunciation. Forget, understanding the engineering he taught us, understanding and deciphering his speech took us a year. Kapakitor (capacitor) was considered a new device patented by SR. Such was his skills.

We had lab sessions and what was done in the lab had to be written and maintained in a lab journal. We used to get the journal sheets and after entering the results we filed it and had to submit it at the start of each lab session. This particular time we had to attach a semi-log graph sheet too. It’s a graph with logarithmic division on one axis and normal divisions on the other. As was the norm, I delayed doing it till the last moment and then went to lab only to realize that, I hadn’t attached the graph. So the race against time started. First step, ask around for a spare graph sheet, didn’t work, no one had one. Step two: consider running to the stationary shop, not really an option, discard it. At this crucial moment entered amazingly talented Nagaprasad aka Nagi. He was my classmate, close friend and the go to guy in these situations. Nagi out of nowhere produced two graph sheets; naturally I was happy and asked him where he got it from. So here is a secret, in the analog lab, in the last row shelf there were these sheets, they were meant to be used in the semester exams only but someone had kept it there and Nagi was helping himself. So he let me in on this project to save 25 paisa a week. The problem is these graphs had the university seal, so Nagi said, “When you are submitting, paste something on the seal or erase it”, which I conveniently forgot.

I submitted the journal and started conducting the new experiment. SR came and blabbered something and sat down to correct the journals. Then after a while he called my name out and I went to his desk and the showdown began.

SR: ‘What is this?’ pointing to the journal with the graph on top.

Me: ‘My journal, Sir’, I knew what he meant, but when you can drag the inevitable….

SR: ‘I can see that. But what is this?’ tapping on the graph.

Me: ‘Semi-Log graph, Sir. Why is there anything wrong in it?’

SR: ‘Where did you get the sheet from?’

Now I had a choice. Either tell the truth and face the consequence or pull Nagi into it. This day Nagi wasn’t that lucky.

Me: ‘Nagaprasad gave it to me sir’

SR: ‘You go, send him here’.

So I went and told Nagi, ‘SR is calling you, that B*****d saw the graph, I haven’t told him anything.’ Nagi was furious, ‘did you have to pull me into this, F*** you.’ saying this he went to meet SR.

SR: ‘Nagaprasad, what is this?’ pointing to the journal.

Nagi: ‘Sir, that not my journal, its Chaitanya’s’, saying this he turned around and started to leave.

SR: ‘I know whose journal it is. But what is this?’ He was frustrated and circled the university seal on it with his pen.

Nagi cool as ever said, ‘I told you, it isn’t my journal, how should I know?’

SR: ‘You go, send Chaitanya again’.

So I went again.

SR: ‘He says he doesn’t know anything about it’.

Me: ‘Then I also don’t know’.

Now SR was totally frustrated, he finally said after a pause, ‘Go bring Nagaprasad’.

To complicate matters, another lecturer Rajeswari (PR), (it was rumored that she and SR were romantically involved) came into the scene. She was not concerned with lab, but still made an entrance.

SR: ‘He says he doesn’t know, you say you don’t know, then who knows?’ pointing to me.

Me: ‘Sir, as far as I remember Nagi gave it to me, but I am not sure’.

Nagi: ‘I don’t know anything about it, check my journal, do I have the seal?’

PR: ‘Sir, they are all like this. They are always like this’.

SR: ‘So I have nothing against Nagaprasad, but you Chaitanya, you have to tell me where you got this, you guys decide’.

Now I was in a fix, we couldn’t keep going in circles. This was the time for the master plan. And what a plan I had.

Me: ‘Sir, now I remember. I got up today morning and remembered that I had to draw a graph, so I opened my cupboard and got this graph. I think it’s the shopkeeper’s mistake’.

I couldn’t believe I had said the lamest of excuses. I could have said anything, but got up in the morning and it was in my cupboard was suicide.

What next happened knocked the wind out of me. SR said, ‘I have worked here for the last 7 years but surprisingly nothing has ever travelled from here to my home, you are a student and been here for a year or so and already things have started appearing at your place’. I was embarrassed and defeated, but I was determined to give a fitting reply and I said, ‘Sir, the graph sheet costs 25 paisa, and if you think the university lost that, I can pay.’, saying this I took out a rupee coin and kept it on the table. Recently, I was telling this to my close friend and I said, ‘what an arrogant B*****d I was back then', she replied in an instant, ‘you still are’.

PR said, ‘Sir, they are all like this. They are always like this’. Nagi stared at me, SR was scratching his head and I was prepared for the worst. Finally SR spoke, ‘see this isn’t about the money, if tomorrow you get this sheet to the exam and submit it, I have to take it. It isn’t supposed to go out of the exam hall, so I was worried how it went out. That’s why I asked’.

Nagi: ‘Sir, we can write anything and bring? You will have to accept it?’ Thankfully everyone ignored that.

Finally I said, ‘ok sir, next time I will check for the seal. Let it go this time.’

SR: ‘ok, be more careful.’

PR: ‘leave it, they are like this, they are all the same’.

Me: ‘Thank you, sir’

Nagi: ‘Thank you, sir’

SR: ‘So take this and attach a new graph and get it’, handing me the journal

Me: ‘Do I have to. I will just try to erase the seal or stick a piece of paper over it’.

Some people never learn.